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Now I know you’re excited and can’t wait to dive into your new world of textual exploration but slow down.
Here’s your first rule: There are obviously so many things wrong with this.
He won’t even remember your face and that’s why he was so quick to add you on Snapchat. He clearly wants you to notice he’s good looking, but that’s all he is – just a pretty face who is too high on his own ego to think of anyone but himself.
This is just going to make you look stupid and we both know you’re better than that. You’re describing an intimate sexual encounter, not a random, drunken hook-up in an Arby’s parking lot. Even if you aren’t dating any of them and you’re just casually trying to hook up, this could result in a nightmare: Needless to say you aren’t going to be doing any more sexting with Shannon and if there’s any pattern in the universe at all, she probably knows who Stacy is and will be talking about what a jerk you are with her by the end of the night. You could add a little bit onto your, uh, length, but don’t describe yourself as the horcrux snake that accompanied Voldemort in Harry Potter. It sounds petty but these questions will eat you alive if she hesitates at all in responding. DO realize she’s probably not doing all those sexy things she’s typing.
This doesn’t just apply to you, don’t exaggerate what you’re going to do to her too much either: You want her to know that you’re a strong, passionate lover, but settle down a little pal. This may sound silly and pretentious but let me explain: when someone is texting you and you each have an i Phone you’ll get this in your chat window: Is she typing? I asked my female friends what they’re actually doing while sexting and, unfortunately, some of the results might make you sad: But don’t look at that as a bad thing.
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